Have you ever felt your shoulders tense when someone raises their voice? Or your stomach tightens before a difficult conversation? These are small, everyday reminders that trauma is stored in our bodies. Our physical form remembers far more than we realize.
As therapists, we often hear clients say, “I thought I was over that.” But their bodies tell a different story. Trauma doesn’t just stay in our minds, it lingers in the body in subtle, persistent ways. The muscles tighten, the breath shortens, and the heart learns to brace for impact. Over time, these physical patterns become habits and silent reminders of moments we couldn’t fully process. Until we learn to listen to those signals, our bodies will keep repeating the same messages, hoping we finally pay attention.
The Body Keeps The Score
Research shows that trauma is not only psychological, it’s biological and physiological. When we experience something overwhelming, our nervous system activates a survival response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. If that energy has nowhere to go, if we can’t run, speak, or protect ourselves, it can remain trapped in the body long after the event is over. Over time, this can look like chronic pain, tension, digestive issues, fatigue, or emotional numbness.
We see this in therapy all the time. Someone might come in for relationship struggles, but beneath the surface lies a body still wired for threat. Their mind knows they’re safe, but their nervous system hasn’t caught up yet.
Where Trauma Hides
Our bodies often act like emotional maps, revealing where pain, fear, or loss have settled. Before we can begin to heal, it helps to notice how these sensations show up physically because every ache and tightness can tell part of the story. Different kinds of trauma tend to show up in different parts of the body:
- Neck and shoulders: Often connected to carrying emotional burdens or responsibilities for others.
- Stomach and gut: A common site for anxiety, shame, and unprocessed fear. The gut is deeply connected to our emotional regulation through the vagus nerve.
- Chest and heart area: Linked to grief, loss, and betrayal.
- Lower back and pelvis: Can hold tension from boundary violations, sexual trauma, or chronic fear of instability.
These aren’t hard rules, of course, but they reflect how our bodies express what our words sometimes can’t. The American Psychological Association notes that trauma survivors are more likely to experience physical health issues, particularly those affecting the cardiovascular, immune, and gastrointestinal systems.
How It Shows Up In Daily Life
Our bodies often give us small hints before our minds catch on. These signs might seem like random aches, tiredness, or tension, but they’re often clues that something deeper is asking for attention.
Here’s how trauma can quietly weave itself into daily life:
- Overreacting to small stressors: snapping at your partner or feeling panicked by a simple mistake.
- Chronic exhaustion or burnout: your nervous system is working overtime, constantly scanning for danger.
- Difficulty relaxing: even during rest, your body stays tense, alert, on guard.
- Disconnection or numbness: feeling detached from your body, relationships, or emotions.
These patterns can persist for years. But once we start recognizing them as survival responses (not personal flaws) we can begin to heal.
The Nervous System As The Missing Link
Healing trauma goes beyond simply talking about what happened. When you heal, it involves gently teaching the body that it no longer needs to brace for impact. This means slowing down the nervous system, rebuilding a sense of internal safety, and learning to respond to stress in new ways that reflect the present moment rather than the past.
Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) constantly scans our environment for cues of safety or danger, a process known as neuroception. When trauma dysregulates this system, we may stay stuck in fight-or-flight even when nothing is wrong.
That’s why approaches like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), somatic experiencing, or mindfulness-based practices can be so effective. They help reconnect body and mind, teaching the nervous system that it no longer needs to live in survival mode.
At our practice, we use EMDR to help clients process trauma in a safe, structured, and efficient way. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, often through eye movements or tapping, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories and integrate them more adaptively. This allows the body to release the physical stress tied to old experiences while strengthening a sense of safety and control. EMDR uses guided imagery and eye movements to change how distressing memories are stored in the brain, allowing the body to release the physiological stress connected to them.
Learning To Listen To Your Body
Many people spend years avoiding what their body is trying to say. They push through the pain, intellectualize emotions, or stay busy to avoid stillness. But healing often begins the moment we pause and ask, What is my body trying to tell me right now?
Start small. Notice where you hold tension. Take slow, deep breaths. Practice grounding by feeling your feet on the floor, naming what you see around you, and reminding yourself you are safe. These moments build new neural pathways that gently retrain your nervous system toward calm.
The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) notes that body-based practices such as mindful breathing, gentle movement, and grounding are proven to reduce trauma-related symptoms and help restore emotional regulation.
From Surviving To Living
When trauma lives in the body, it limits our capacity to experience joy, intimacy, and rest. But once we learn to listen and respond with compassion, the body can finally begin to relax. Healing doesn’t erase what happened but it will change how it lives within us.
You may not be able to think your way out of trauma, but you can feel your way through it. And with the right support, your body can learn what safety feels like again.If you recognize having a tight chest, an anxious stomach, or exhaustion that never seems to lift, know that healing is possible. We’ve seen it again and again in our clients. The body holds pain, yes, but it also holds the map to freedom.
