Sex Therapy
Physical intimacy doesn’t come easy for everyone and sex plays a large role in relationships. Sexual intimacy is typically an integral part of a romantic relationship and everyone feels the strain when there are issues with sex. It can be easy to put off getting help and hard to seek help from a sex therapist. Plus, sex therapy isn’t often portrayed properly on TV or in the movies so it leaves people feeling confused and possibly embarrased so they opt against asking for help.
But, here’s the thing: about one-third of Americans in relationships aren’t satisfied with their sex life. If you’re experiencing any issues with sex in your relationship, you’re not alone. According to McCarthy & McCarthy, the quanitity of sex decreases between the first six months to two years of a relationship. Add in the layers of inhibited sexual desire (ISD) among men and women, and the frustration around lack of physical intimacy grows.
And, it’s not about quantity. In this area, the frequency of sex doesn’t truly indicate whether a couple is unhappy. Problems arise when there are different levels of desire.
If you’re experiencing different sexual desire levels that leave you both feeling unsatisfied, it’s important to work with a sex therapist. Relationships are hard enough without adding in the complexity of sexual wellness but your relationship can suffer when the issues in your sex life aren’t addressed.
What is Sex Therapy?
Similar to other forms of talk therapy, it’s a non-touch therapy that focuses on addressing sexual health and intimacy concerns that a person or couple may have. Within each sex therapy session, we’ll explore the concerns you have regarding your sex life, sexual performance, and any intimacy concerns. As a sex therapist, I’ll provide solutions and education to help guide you through your sexual or intimacy hurdles.
Common Sexual Health Issues
While some sexual concerns can be addressed by your medical provider, sexuality-related issues are typically more complex and require help of a sex therapist who works in therapy for sexual wellness.
Some common areas of sexual health issues include:
- Lack of Passion
- Desire & Drive Discrepancy
- Difficulties with Sexual Arousal
- Inhibited Sexual Desire
- Sexual Performance Issues
- Problems with Sexual Dissatisfaction
- Porn Use-Related Problems
- Experiences with Sexual Pain
- Trouble Reaching an Orgasm
- Lack of Sexual Intimacy
Talking to your partner about sex is a start but sex therapy can help you both reach your desired levels of sexual pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness. Therapy for sexual wellness allows you to explore issues around sexuality, sexual intimacy, sexual relationships, and sexual function in a safe and supported space.
Sex Therapy for Individuals
If the quality of your life is affected by issues like sexual desire, sexual function, or intimacy in a relationship – seeking help from a sex therapist is a great step to take. It will give you a chance to talk through your concerns, address your emotions, and work through past experiences that may be affecting your current sexual health. For individuals, sex therapy can help you build a more satisfying sex life through gaining a realistic understanding of pleasure and sex; learning how to grow and maintain a sexual connection with yourself on a deeper level; and pin-pointing the underlying cause of any sexual issues that need to be addressed. People struggling with sexual dysfunction or lack of sexual desire aren’t the only individuals who benefit from sex therapy. Anyone looking to overcome sexual dissatisfaction will benefit from working with a sex therapist.
Sex Therapy for Women
A lot of women who seek sex therapy often come in for inhibited sexual desire (ISD). In an individual setting, we talk about sexual experiences in a safe space. We’ll discuss whether inhibited sexual desire is primary (always present) or secondary (desire was present but isn’t there any more). In addition, we’ll look into spontanious vs. responsive desire as we work through past sexual experiences. It’s important to work through how sex and intimacy may have changed over the course of a woman’s life.
Through sex therapy, women will work through the messages received around sex, physical intimacy when she grew up, and past partners and a current relationship, if there is one. If there is a partner or spouse, we will talk about the role each person plays in their intimate relationship including any underlying relationship issues while working toward a more sensual experience and away from goal-oriented sex.
Sex Therapy for Men
When working with men who seek help from a sex therapist, we’ll go through many of the same conversations and breakthroughs as with women and couples but there’s an added element of erectile dysfunction (ED). In a safe, judgement-free space, we’ll go through when ED first occured, whether it only happens when a man is intimate with a partner or also when masturbating. Erectile dysfunction is a common issue for men, so we will discuss some aspects that aren’t typically spoken about with a medical doctor like whether ED is related to performance anxiety or something else is going on.
However, ED isn’t the only reason men come to sex therapy. Men seek help from a sex therapist when they are unsatisfied with the quality of sex they are having. We’ll work through past and current partners and how satisfied one might be with their sex life and initmate, sexual experiences. We typically won’t skip on discussing underlying relationship issues if you are in a relationship.
Benefit of Sex Therapy for Couples
There isn’t a person on earth who wouldn’t benefit from sex therapy. Couples can grately benefit from sex therapy because you tackle hurdles in the bedroom directly together. When you work with a sex therapist, you’re working with someone who won’t judge you but will guide you both in communicating effectively with each other.
Deepen Your Sexual Connection
Enhance your sexual intimacy as a couple while deepening your emotional connection with each other, allowing you to grow together.
Address Underlying Issues
Identifying the underlying cause is important because sometimes the cause of sexual issues isn’t truly related to sex itself.
Realistic Understanding of Sexual Pleasure
Couples may get caught up in scripted sex but you both can get a better understanding of what sexual pleasure should be.
Couples sex therapy can be beneficial for anyone in a relationship. While some people may benefit from attending sex therapy sessions alone, having both partners at each session can provide the opportunity for improved sexual satisfaction and allow you both to build stronger, more effective communication skills. If you’re looking for ways to improve your relationship and increase your sexual wellness, TherapyWorks can help.
What if I don’t want to attend sessions with my partner?
This is a fairly common scenario in sexual intimacy counseling and sex therapy. It’s OK to attend sex therapy sessions on your own to work through your intimacy hurdles without a partner. You can attend in-person sessions if you’re in the Houston-area or participate in sex therapy through teletherapy.
What can I Expect from Sex Therapy?
I offer a safe, warm and non-judgmental space. You won’t hear any negative feedback that may make you feel guilty – it’s quite the opposite. I am interested in you have to say.
The process typically begins with an assessment of your sexual health and intimacy concerns. I will help you specify the issues you want to explore and address in sex therapy. For couples, you’ll have guided help as you gain insight into the sexual dynamics of your relationship which may affect and maintain your issues. For individuals, your experience will be similar but we’ll work through issues related to you as an individual like ISD or ED.
Throughout your sessions, you’ll also receive solutions to help alleviate and work through any intimacy issues you have. I also might assign homework for you to apply the skills we worked on in session to your daily life.
Weekly or bi-weekly visits are typical. After your initial treatment sessions, you might return periodically for “booster” visits to prevent a future relapse.
It’s normal to be nervous or even overwhelmed while you make the decision to call a sex therapist and take the first step towards getting help. Your willingness to explore this option and take the first step shows how brave you can be and how much you care about improving your sexual wellbeing.
Let’s Get Started
It’s not enough to just want to improve your sex life, you have to put in the work and starting with sex therapy can help. I can help you learn the skills to help you communicate with your partner (or each other) and overcome any sexual or intimacy road blocks you are experiencing. This can help you live in a fulfilled and happy relationship where you both feel aroused and satisfied with your sex life.