The Tools You Need to Make Life’s Changes Easier
If there’s one thing everyone can count on, it’s that we all have transitions in life in some way. This has never been more true than it is right now and has been over the last few years. As with most things in life, not all of us are well equipped to handle life transitions well – many of us weren’t taught how to navigate through those transitions effectively and without getting overwhelmed. Life’s changes tend to stress us out – which is normal, and this spans changes like career and job changes, divorce, losing a loved one, and life stage changes.
What makes transitions in life more challenging tends to come from what we do (or don’t do) when we’re in the thick of it and the beliefs we carry about those changes. There are expectations attached to just about everything we do. Those are either set for us by others or that we set ourselves – which adds on layers of stress and anxiety. But there are ways to mitigate the stress of life transitions.
Tools for Navigating Transitions in Life
We’re about to make a lot of generalizations when it coAny time you go through something in life, it’s important to take a moment to pause and reflect. When you’re mindful of what’s happening around you and to you, you take stock of your own role in the transition. This allows you to pivot where necessary while also giving you the wisdom to guide you through that change. Unfortunately, there really isn’t a simple way to navigate through a major life change and you can’t ignore its presence. But there are three things you can start today to make the transition easier. mes to gender and sex, so buckle up.
Reframing Your Perspective with Bite Size Tasks
Have you ever been told that you make a mountain out of a molehill? This is the opposite because you want to take something potentially overwhelming and break it down into smaller chunks. It changes your viewpoint of the task and reframes your perspective on the situation. Start by figuring out what small steps you can work on right now. Focus on what’s important to you and break that off into smaller pieces. Here is an example:
Job Loss
- Update your resume in 10 minute chunks of time
- Reflect that new information from your resume on your LinkedIn profile
- Show recruiters on LinkedIn that you’re open to new opportunities
- Create a spreadsheet to keep track of where you applied to
- Google your last position with the term “job” and start placing the URL of any job opening that seems interesting into your spreadsheet
- When you’re ready, apply to 5 jobs at a time and mark down when you applied on your sheet
- Audit your finances (if you haven’t done so already) – make another spreadsheet documenting all of your regular expenses and break this task down even further by looking at your checking account, savings account, 401k/IRA account, credit cards, and loans on separate occasions
- Create a new budget for yourself based on your audit
When you take baby steps toward an end goal, like getting a new job, the tasks around navigating your new world aren’t as daunting. When things seem less scary, we tend to view it more positively which makes the transition easier.
And…
When life transitions are big and scary, you’re more likely to feel fearful or have a negative outlook that creates a barrier – which can prevent you from attaining your end goal. So, when you start having negative thoughts, build an “and” into your sentence. Let’s try it:
- “Signing these papers means my marriage really failed and I can learn from this to be a more communicative partner.”
- “I really loved my job – I worry I won’t find another position like it and I can find a position that I love even more because I’m really great at what I do.”
- “I’m afraid I’m going to tank my business and I’m going to take the steps necessary to educate myself on running an efficient practice.”
When you add in the “AND”, you’re flipping the script and reminding yourself that you have a choice. You can wallow in the worry, which will only stress yourself out more, or you can start the process of taking the steps necessary to shape your story according to how you want it to be written.
Tap Into Your Curious-Side
As kids, our curious side would peak and we’d explore. Curiosity is often encouraged as kids because while it may have “killed the cat” it made us well-rounded people. It also taught us that it’s ok to explore new opportunities without getting bogged down by fear and expectations. Tap into that side of yourself which can calm your parasympathetic nervous system which forces your body to relax and gives you the grace to explore.
Managing the Transition in Life
It doesn’t matter what life change you’re experiencing, there are “best practices” (read: things that work!) for helping yourself through them all and you probably did them as a child without realizing it. You can’t ignore change and overthinking things won’t help but these things will:
- Play & Stay Active: this isn’t the perfect time to start a new hobby or sport but you can reactivate your love for yoga, hitting up the gym, running, tennis, drawing, sculpting, or writing (to name a few). When you stay active in something, it helps rewire your brain to remember the enjoyable things through your transition.
- Change Your Habits Slowly: when you decide to eat an apple a day instead of a bag of chips, it’s an achievable goal that you feel proud of. People who make small daily habitual changes tend to handle life transitions better because they break up a daunting task into achievable steps.
- Talk it Out with a Professional: we can’t ignore therapy when it comes to big life transitions. Speak with a therapist who has a solution or goal-focused practice. They can help you come up with a game-plan that keeps you from becoming overwhelmed through your life change.
As you go through the three stages of a life transition – saying “goodbye” to people or situations that are left behind, the mess in the middle where we create new habits, and the beginning of the next phase – you can make the choice to cope with it or flourish through it. When you choose to take any of the above steps, the transition will already seem easier to navigate through.
One of the smartest steps you can take when you’re in the messy middle stage is to speak to a professional. Talking to a therapist can help you break through barriers and overcome any anxiety and many of my clients benefit from using online therapy when going through transitions in life.
Navigate Transitions with Help
Navigating life’s changes can be hard and working with a therapist in Texas can make it less stressful. Reach out to get help today.
