Couples Therapy
Marriage is often considered hard work. Just like your car or your home, it requires regular maintenance if you want to keep your relationship running well. When people engage in therapy for themselves, they often want to grow and mature parts of themselves that they recognize need help. Couples enter couples counseling on the other hand, when they recognize there are parts of the relationship that need help, and they know they need to work on those areas together in order to improve the relationship.
Being unhappy in a relationship and not knowing where the dissatisfaction is coming from, or wanting to reconnect and not understanding how is disheartening. Over time, unhappiness can develop into a bigger issue where small problems turn into major fights. If you are looking to reconnect with your partner, compassionate counseling is a great step to take.
Dissatisfaction and unhappiness often lead to arguing and cycles of arguments that may or may not have any real triggers. This cycle becomes very maddening and frustrating. Unfortunately, a lot of couples lose the spark they once shared but marriage counseling can help break down the feelings of frustration while working through conflict resolution and help you reconnect.
What Kind Of Therapy Is Best For Couples Who Need Help With Their Relationship?
The best type of therapy for couples looking to improve their relationship often depends on the couple’s unique challenges, goals, and preferences. However, one widely recognized and effective approach is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
EFT is designed to help couples understand and reconfigure their emotional responses, fostering a deeper emotional connection and strengthening the bond between partners. It focuses on identifying the pattern of negative interactions, understanding underlying needs and emotions, and fostering a secure attachment bond. Other notable types of therapy for couples include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps couples identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors affecting their relationship.
- Gottman Method: Based on the research of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach aims to increase closeness, affection, and respect, helping couples manage conflicts and deepen their bond and understanding.
- Narrative Therapy: Allows couples to reframe and retell the story of their relationship, identifying and overcoming negative perceptions.
- Solution-Focused Therapy: Focuses on finding solutions to specific issues within the relationship, rather than delving into past conflicts or issues.
Choosing the right therapy often involves considering what feels most comfortable for both partners and what aligns with their specific needs. Consulting with a skilled therapist who specializes in couples therapy can also provide guidance on the best approach based on the particular situation.
Common Relationship Problems
Couples come to couples counseling for any number of relationship problems. You could have a long list of reasons why you want to get help. If you feel like you don’t know the person you’re living with anymore, and it feels like you’re always avoiding each other, it’s time to seek help.
Some Common Relationship Problems Include:
- Communication challenges
- Ongoing mental health issues
- Not feeling like you’re a priority in your partner’s life
- Infidelity or lack of trust in your relationship
- Unhappy with chores or child-rearing responsibilities
- Ongoing conflict in relationships
- Differences in values or religious commitments
- The “spark” is missing
- Money mismanagement or repeated financial disagreements
- Inability to forgive or let go of the past
- Lack of physical intimacy
- Cultural differences
- Major life changes (e.g. job loss, loss of parent/family member, moving or empty nest)
How Couples Therapy Brings Couples Closer Together
Research shows that the average couple waits six years before seeking couples counseling. Six years is a long time to feel unhappy in your relationship before seeking help. In my practice, I have found that many clients wished they started sooner. Couples therapy fosters closeness and strengthens the bond between partners by providing a safe, structured environment for open communication. Here’s how it works:
Enhances Communication
Therapy breaks down communication barriers, teaching partners to express their thoughts and feelings more openly and effectively. It encourages active listening, helping each person understand the other’s perspective.
Resolves Conflicts
By identifying underlying issues and patterns that lead to conflict, therapy helps couples find constructive ways to address disagreements. It moves them away from blame and toward understanding and resolution.
Deepens Emotional Connection
Therapy sessions are designed to explore and express emotions, fostering emotional intimacy. Couples learn to vulnerably share their fears, desires, and needs, strengthening their emotional bond.
Promotes Understanding
Through guided discussions, partners gain insight into each other’s behaviors and motivations. This understanding can transform how they perceive one another, fostering empathy and compassion.
Builds Trust
The process of working through issues together in a supportive environment can rebuild and deepen trust. Therapy provides the tools to navigate future challenges more effectively, further solidifying the relationship’s foundation.
Encourages Growth
Therapy not only addresses current issues but also encourages personal and relational growth. Couples learn to support each other’s individual aspirations while growing together as a unit.
Creates a Partnership Mindset
Therapy helps couples see themselves as a team, working together against problems, rather than viewing each other as the problem.
Ready to get started? Let’s talk today.
Benefits of Couples Counseling
Communicate More Successfully
Find tools and techniques that improve conflict resolution and teach you to communicate successfully with each other.
Navigating Parenthood Together
Couples counseling offers a valuable space for partners, particularly parents, to find their way through the maze of parenthood. It’s easy to lose sight of each other amidst the busy schedules of shuttling kids around. Therapy can guide you in prioritizing your relationship while also honing in on effective parenting techniques.
What if My Partner Doesn’t Want to Go to Couples Counseling?
This situation often arises in couples therapy, and the manner in which you handle it can significantly impact the outcome. Instead of abruptly suggesting therapy and demanding their participation, consider having a comprehensive discussion with your partner. Explain your reasons for wanting to explore couples therapy in a way that leads to a deeper understanding for both of you.
Another alternative to in-person couples therapy in Texas is trying online couples counseling. If they’re still hesitant, remember that you can attend therapy on your own. This can help strengthen your own personal growth, which has positive effects on your relationship with your partner.
What Does Couples Counseling Look Like?
The process typically begins with an assessment of the relationship looking at issues like emotional connection, communication, and other frustrations partners may have. I will help you specify the issues you want to address in therapy.
I guide couples towards insight into the dynamics of their relationship which affect and continue the issues, so it becomes possible to change these problems. Some are even assigned homework so that they apply the skills that are worked on in session to their daily life.
Weekly or bi-weekly visits are typical. After our initial sessions, some couples return periodically for “booster” visits to prevent potential future relapses.
It is common to feel anxious or overwhelmed about reaching out to a therapist and initiating couples counseling. Your readiness to consider therapy and take that first step is a testament to your courage and your commitment to your relationship.
How Long Before Results Are Seen In Couples Therapy?
The duration required to observe outcomes from couples therapy varies considerably, contingent on multiple factors such as the complexity and intensity of concerns tackled during sessions, the level of dedication displayed by both individuals towards counseling procedures, and their application of newfound knowledge in real-world situations after the treatment plan.
Generally, some couples may begin to notice improvements in their communication and relationship dynamics within a few sessions, typically around 3 to 6 sessions, as they start to implement new communication strategies and coping mechanisms.
However, more substantial and lasting change often requires a longer commitment. Many couples find they achieve more significant progress after several months of regular therapy sessions. On average, a typical course of couples therapy might last anywhere from 12 to 20 sessions over several months, but this can vary.
It’s important for couples to enter therapy with realistic expectations and an understanding that healing and improvement take time. The therapy process is unique for every couple, and progress is not always linear.
There may be setbacks along the way, but these can also serve as valuable learning experiences that contribute to growth. The key is continuous effort and commitment to the process, both within and outside of therapy sessions.
Couples Therapy FAQs
What Is The Difference Between Family Therapy & Couples Therapy?
Family therapy and couples therapy differ primarily in their focus and the participants involved. Family therapy addresses the interactions and dynamics within a family unit, involving multiple family members tackling issues that affect the family as a whole, such as communication problems, transitions, and conflicts.
Relationship counseling, on the other hand, focuses specifically on the relationship between partners, aiming to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen the partnership. While both modalities seek to improve relationship issues, the scope and participants in each approach vary.
Don’t wait. Call me now!
I believe that wanting the best relationship you can have is reason enough to begin couples therapy. Love is a feeling, but a healthy relationship is also a skill set. Most of us don’t learn these skills growing up, so we just expect love to carry us through. But it isn’t enough. I can help you learn the skills to live in a fulfilled and happy relationship where you feel heard, understood and cared for by each other. If you want to work things out, or at least try, couples counseling may be your best shot.